Sometimes all you can do is smile. Move on with your day, hold back the tears and pretend that you’re okay.
Hi guys! Actually it took me a month to post this.
Because I can’t.
But I tried so many times.
Because it’s hard.
But today I realize I need to face my fears.
Today, I realize I need to move forward.
And today, I realize I should get up, wipe my tears and continue on pursuing my dreams.
And that dream is to be a licensed civil engineer.
If you are one of my followers here in my blogg, you know that several months ago I always post and share here my story when I was reviewing for my board exam last November 2018.
Yes. You read it right. I took the board exam last November 2018. But sadly, I didn’t make it to pass the exam. 😦
That was my worst heartbreak in year 2018. It made me feel I’m stupid for not passing. I cried a lot. I cried everyday and every night. I always cry. I cried until I can sleep because I’m tired of crying.
I’m a jolly person. I always smile. I always make people laugh. I always tell them to smile even you are facing lot of problems.
But things change. . . . .and people change.
The sad truth,
Because I got hurt. Because I’m in pain. And because I didn’t make it to the list of passers and that incident left the most hurtful mark in my heart. 😦
Two months had passed and I’m still affected. Maybe other people would tell that I’m OA (overacting) but one thing I want you to know, it’s not easy. Moving on is not easy. It takes a lot of courage and a heart that is ready for acceptance; and it’s not that easy.
Why it’s not easy? Why I’m in pain?
Because I know I studied hard but I dont know why I dudn’t make it.
Because some people in my life keep on questioning why I didn’t pass the board exam and thay questions keep on reminding me the pain I felt when the result was posted.
Haters gonna hate. Other people might drag me down. And some people might be happy because I didn’t passed.
You know who you are guys. I know you keep on stalking my account and you are always updated with my post, so here is something for you:
“Yes. I didn’t passed the Board Exam. Yes, I look mesirable. And yes, I’m in so much pain right now. And I know how happy you are because you think I’m depressed. But all I want you to know that you dont know how many times I cried when Im reviewing because I always think that I want to pass this,for my family, for myself especially for God. You dont know the feeling of reviewing until morning and attending class even you dont have enough sleep. And you don’t know the feeling of being alone and being far from your family but I need to be strong for them. Now tell me, how happy you are right now”.
Days passed, and I always find myself crying in the Church, crying to God. But one thing, I never questioned him. Instead, I ask for His guidance. I asked Him to give me more courage and to help me move on.
They’re right. After you cry, smile and continue your life. And now,. . . .
I realized something. I need to keep going. I have to keep going.
Not because I failed once.
But because I want to be an engineer. No matter what happen, I will be an engineer.
Yes, I got tired, I cried and almost lost myself. But today, I’m going to fight again. Not just for my family and for myself, but for God who always reminding me how strong I am.
To other people who once fail in their life, don’t lose hope. Everything happens for a reason. Be strong. And don’t give up. Remove “GIVE UP” in your choices. Continue living. Continue smiling and continue pursuing your dream.
Keep fighting! 🙂
Hope you read the entire article. I’m always and forver gtateful to wordpress because I can share here my experiences. Hope you guys learned a lesson from my blogg today. Thank you so much!
Photo: Im forever be inlove with sunset. It’s too beautiful and it always remind me that no matter how bad your day is, it can always end up beautiful. (Im also the photographer of all the pictures I posted here)