Too Hard To Be Strong

Hi. . .

It’s been 15 days since I posted about my board exam experience.

Actually I dont know where to start. I dont know how to tell all this feelings to my friends especially to my family.

That’s why I’ll just leave it here.

If you would remember, what I wrote in “BOARD EXAM EXPERIENCE” that I will be more stronger than before. . .

But until now I cant find my purpose yet.

Hanggang ngayon, di ko alam kung paano ba? Kung saan ba ako magsisimula? Kung bakit kelangan kong magsimula ulit.

I can’t tell my parents because I’m afraid I might disappoint them.

Im afraid. . .

I have this fear.

Fear of following my hearts desire. πŸ™

I cant even find myself smiling.

I just find myself smiling bitterly.

I cried for the past 15 days.

I cry everyday.

I need a shoulder to cry on.

I need a hug guys πŸ™

I need someone to tell me “Im here to listen to you”.

I really need someone to hug me right now.

I need to save myself.

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26 thoughts on “Too Hard To Be Strong

  1. pray ka lang ha! wag ka ng malungkot test lang yan para kumapit ka kay Lord. Trials- brought by the Lord to test us, to increase our Faith, to train his people, to bless us,
    Ang Pagsubok ay mula sa Diyos,
    Ang layunin nito ay patatagin ang iyong pananampalataya at imold ka.

    KAPAYAPAAN SA GITNA
    NG BAGYO AT UNOS. (Mark 4:38-39; John 15:5)
    wag kang magpapadala sa lahat ng problema dahil lahat may solosyon sabihin mo na lahat sa parents mo. kahit magalit sila at least nag paka totoo ka. mas mahihirapan ka kung hindi mo sasabihin. pero bago mo sabihin mag pray ka kay Lord.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Ganon talaga kilangan kitang tulungan. Gusto ko maging strong ka lang. pag may mga problema ka na ganyan kausapin mo lang siya. Hindi ka niya hahayaan na maging malungkot. saka bata ka pa. may chance ka pa na mag aral ulit. mag ipon ka o maghanap ka ng work para pag nakaipon ka pag aralan mo ulit mabute. ganyan kasi ako. Hindi ako nawawalan ng pag asa. Hindi ako bibitaw dahil nangyare sakin yun. pag nadapa ka bangon ulit.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Actually, Im a jolly person. Never akong nakikita ng mga friends lalo na ng pamilya ko na malungkot or may problema. Kung magshashare man ako, lage kay Lord ako nagshashare. Ung iiyak ka habang nagpapray. Ganun lagi. Kaya lahat ng tao nabigla nung ilang buwan ako di nagpaparamdam dahil na din sa sariling problema. Pero ngaun, babawi na ulit. Kaya na ulit ngumiti ng walang pait 😊

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      3. Oo, kaya wag ka mawalan ng pag asa. sabihin mo lahat ng gusto mo. pakikinggan ka niya sabihin mo kung bakit kahit di mo sabihin yun alam na niya. kaya minsan nagawa yun ng way kasi gusto niya lumapit ka pa. gusto niya kapitan mo siya. pag inuna mo kasi siya lahat ng hiling mo matutupad.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. hi, first time ko rito!
    and i want you to know that, i can’t listen to you, but I’m (and other people) here to read your posts.
    To know how you face your struggle, and soon… how you rediscover again your purpose.

    Siguro naman hindi mo kailangan maging strong parati, masaya palagi, isipin palagi ang nangyari ( i backread your other post), at lalo na yung tsika ng outside forces. Walang kasing sakit yung failure, pero siempre hindi yan ang magde-define kung sino sa kabuan si GraciouslyLucky. May friend ako na consistent honor student at magna cumlaude noong college, pero hindi pumasa sa 2 takes n’ya ng board exam. Ako rin ilang beses na akong bumagsak sa exams, hehehe pero heto pa rin naman at baka susunod mag-e-exam pa rin. You are absolutely right on your last post na it doesn’t matter how many times you fail… it’s always about how you are going to win… or to be a licensed civil engineer. Naalala ko lang iyong hugot tips ni Hoshi from puzzle mobile app games. Di ba sa laro mapapasigaw ka sa inis (sakit) dahil natatalo ka ng paulit-ulit. Pero tuloy pa rin naman ang laro hanggang manalo at umusad sa next round. Kasi gusto mo yung laro e (kahit puwede naman mag-install ng mas madaling game). Hayaan mo sasabihin ng iba, no matter what the sun and moon will shine after the rain and you are going to be Engineer Graciously and Lucky with a heart! πŸ˜‰

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Wow. I really appreciate it 😊 thank you for reading my post. And thank you for the advice 😊 kanina galing ako sa church. That’s my daily routine na pumunta ng church lalo na kapag feeling ko habang nagrereview ako di ako umuusad . Then kanina, narealize ko, Im so lucky to experience this dahil nagagawa kong labanan ang depression. At higit sa lahat kinakaya ko pa. Un pala dahil kasama ko si Lord. At dahil dun natauhan ako. Narealize ko na laban na ulit. Walang sukuan sa pangarap. Dahil alam ko na makakamit ko to at magiging worth it lahat ng laban sa dulo 😊

      Liked by 1 person

  3. My first time here and I know how hard it feels. But it’s okay to allow yourself to grieve because but you also have to keep reminding yourself that as much as it hurts, these setbacks will help you become a stronger person. And although passing the boards is important, it is also not the sole basis of your skill.

    Liked by 1 person

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